My Story

The future is always changing. Every second it differs from the previous second. You create your own future, it is all up to you. If you make mistakes, you have to live with them. When I was 14 years old, I made a mistake. I had sex for the very first time. I was young and inexperienced. I didn't realize what could be. I was living in the moment. I thought sex was no big deal. Four months later I started to notice many strange changes in my body. For one, I had gained weight. Two, I was experiencing very unusual pains in my uterus. Three, I hadn't gotten my period in a very long time. My Mom took me to to the doctor and we soon discovered that I was with child. I didn't get it, my boyfriend told me that the first time you had sex you didn't get pregnant. Well, turns out he lied. I was expecting a child in five months. I was terrified and my Mom was so disappointed in me for not telling her that I had sex. My Mom pulled me out of school and made me start homeschooling. My Dad was furious. He wasn't as mad at me, as he was at my boyfriend. When I told my boyfriend he was so shocked that he broke down in tears. He apologized for lieing to me, but that wasn't enough. I needed help, I didn't want to give the baby up. That wasn't something that I could live with for the rest of my life. He promised to stay with me through it all. That made me feel a little bit better. When I told my friends they were very supportive. But some of their parents wouldn't let them hangout with me anymore because they said that I was a bad influence. At first I didn't see that it was such a big deal that I was pregnant. Everyone has babies eventually. Well, to keep a long story short. Five and half months later my daughter Lauren Madison Smith was born. 7 pounds, 6 ounces. It was love at first sight. I didn't want to ever let her out of my arms, or sight. Now, two years later I am sixteen, I have a two year old daughter, and no boyfriend. He couldn't take the stress. His family sends me monthly child support checks, and he sees Lauren every once and a while. You're probably wondering why I'm sharing this with the blogging community. I want to share my story with you all, so won't make the same mistake I did. I love my daughter more than words can explain. But in reality, I am way too young to be a Mother. Right now I may not realize it, but I am going to miss out on a lot in life. I'm going to try and be the best Mother possible and give Lauren the life she deserves. I'm still living at home with my Mom and Dad, they love Lauren, she is their whole world. But, they are too young to be Grandparents. But this is just something that I am going to have to live with, I'm going to have to make the best of my situation. I am still in home schooling, and I plan on going to University. I'm going to get best career for me, and hopefully meet a man who is right for me and Lauren, and get married. I have made myself a promise that I will not date anyone until my schooling is all done, and definitely not have sex for a very long time. I do not drink, smoke or do anything that could affect my daughter in the long run. I have had to do so much growing up in the past two years, more growing up than any child should have to do.. My Grandmother told me something that really made me think. She said 'Alianna, I love you to death. But this is going to be hard.. You're a baby, raising a baby. While Lauren is growing up, you will also be growing up. While she is maturing, you will also be maturing. But I have so much faith in you, I know you will do your best and succeed.'